My flat mates don't the know the difference between the smells of weed and incense. Isn't it lucky for them I'm here to give them an education in this; and religious divisions, political change, indie music and cooking with pulses.
God, I wonder what they think of me, and if they think of me at all.
I won't be here much longer and as they go house-hunting in the twilight grandeur of Bath, I look up current conversion rates and think about the different life I'll have by Fall. Chemistry is out, kids! My counselor seems to suggest I care to much about what people think of me. I think now about who might be reading this. Do you think I write well? Shall I make a career of stringing sentences? Can anybody these days, though?
I don't know that I want a career. I want a life. Occasional happiness and lots of busyness. To fall asleep each night knowing my mind has stretched, the content sleep of learning. I fear the 9to5 if it's robotic and dull. I can't do the same thing over and over again. If I believe in what I'm doing, I'll work hard.
I'd like to live with the man I love and would be the proudest wife ever. Are prayers and good intentions enough to keep couples together? I recite i-love-you's like a liturgy, something I mean always but imagine the feeling must fade.
Do old married people long for a connection with each other, remember the past, the way I remember the 'passion of my youth' for God. You snigger now, you over 30s? I presume to call myself old. Well in this sense, I have passed the blissful time in which I imagined my fervour could be kept in flame by occasional efforts and didn't know the ache of 'hope' or 'wait'.
1/21/09
But I'd also like to say.
To every atheist who says that this campaign is their chance to retaliate against the hellfire and brimstone messages the church pushes with a message of positivity:*
To stop worrying is not positivity, its apathy.
Being challenged by the improbability of God or otherwise is part of enjoying life.
And where is this wrath of the church? Know thine enemy, people. The churches of England do more in the loving vagueness line, if you were looking for something to criticise. To suggest you are bombarded by propaganda of hatred seems at odds with reality. It's true that Alpha adverts say things like 'If God did exist, what would you ask?' and 'Is there more to life than this?'. Whilst it is possible to find the extremist views of a minority which are divisive, on the internet and on the streets in our cities, these largely false claims make it difficult to take your other perceptions of the world with the respect you deserve.
* I acknowledge they do not all read this blog. Some of them are busy. But they should.
To stop worrying is not positivity, its apathy.
Being challenged by the improbability of God or otherwise is part of enjoying life.
And where is this wrath of the church? Know thine enemy, people. The churches of England do more in the loving vagueness line, if you were looking for something to criticise. To suggest you are bombarded by propaganda of hatred seems at odds with reality. It's true that Alpha adverts say things like 'If God did exist, what would you ask?' and 'Is there more to life than this?'. Whilst it is possible to find the extremist views of a minority which are divisive, on the internet and on the streets in our cities, these largely false claims make it difficult to take your other perceptions of the world with the respect you deserve.
* I acknowledge they do not all read this blog. Some of them are busy. But they should.
Start the bus
I'm delighted with the Atheist Bus Campaign.
It's bringing our lazy 'evidence' for believing in God to light. This is faith, not a science. We do not have to make it one for it to be a worthwhile part of our lives. I refer to the evidence of First Cause, of Intelligent Design, of Paley's watch, and of Near Death Experiences. I learnt to write these with capital letters in Religious Education class, and each time my insides squirmed with the inaccuracy and danger of calling these the foundations of our spiritual knowledge.
Intelligent design and William Paley's watch argument, which attempt to prove God by focusing on the improbability of our existence, are relics of the 1800s. Theology and reasoning have both moved on. To say that because something unlikely has happened, someone must have forced the odds in its favour is illogical. A die will land on a number below 2, 1/6 times compared to 5/6 times. It can still happen.
When we set too much store by our word games - if everything has a cause, there must be a first cause - we deny God the opportunity to be himself. Choosing to believe in God because you have persuaded yourself it makes sense is a contradiction. The essence of faith is doubt. That may sound like a contradiction too, but to recognise the unbelief that accompanies every increment with which you do trust, is healthy. I have found God to be someone I hope for, more often than something I know. Faith is not a science.
The most famous slogan of the recent campaign says 'God probably does not exist'. Well, it's true. If you base probability on what sometimes seems the most likely given the evidence that we have gathered through our senses; what we see, what we hear. Based upon extrapolation of these findings... we haven't observed any God particles left from when he walked in the Garden of Eden, his interaction with humans has never been recorded. He probably doesn't exist. We don't have any proof. Faith is not a science.
Science is more theoretical and flimsy than we like to let on. I'm willing to work within the boundaries of a hypothesis, as operating like that is a sensible way to gather and make sense of data. And the theory I use is the best we have at the moment. But I've read about radical theory change, and that what we 'know' now may one day be history, giggled at in classrooms, like Rutherford's plum pudding model. So I don't feel that science is sound enough to base my life upon. Something written in a textbook does not make it an immovable fact, for me. If the equation for divine existence was written into the front of my Physics textbook, including the Christ constant 3.77x10E5000, would you believe in it?
If one bases a religious life on arguments, formulae and most-likely-statements, one risks having it all swept away by radical theory change. Theories of evolution develop constantly and creationist creeds seem increasingly endangered. I feel so sad for people for whom this will cause a crisis of faith. But if their faith included the humbling realisation that they knew an incomplete amount about God and his operation, would it be such a stumbling block?
Finally, I would have used exactly the same phrase to get people thinking about Christianity.
'God probably does not exist. Stop worrying and enjoy your life.' I hate being told to stop worrying, it makes me think people are hiding something.
It's bringing our lazy 'evidence' for believing in God to light. This is faith, not a science. We do not have to make it one for it to be a worthwhile part of our lives. I refer to the evidence of First Cause, of Intelligent Design, of Paley's watch, and of Near Death Experiences. I learnt to write these with capital letters in Religious Education class, and each time my insides squirmed with the inaccuracy and danger of calling these the foundations of our spiritual knowledge.
Intelligent design and William Paley's watch argument, which attempt to prove God by focusing on the improbability of our existence, are relics of the 1800s. Theology and reasoning have both moved on. To say that because something unlikely has happened, someone must have forced the odds in its favour is illogical. A die will land on a number below 2, 1/6 times compared to 5/6 times. It can still happen.
When we set too much store by our word games - if everything has a cause, there must be a first cause - we deny God the opportunity to be himself. Choosing to believe in God because you have persuaded yourself it makes sense is a contradiction. The essence of faith is doubt. That may sound like a contradiction too, but to recognise the unbelief that accompanies every increment with which you do trust, is healthy. I have found God to be someone I hope for, more often than something I know. Faith is not a science.
The most famous slogan of the recent campaign says 'God probably does not exist'. Well, it's true. If you base probability on what sometimes seems the most likely given the evidence that we have gathered through our senses; what we see, what we hear. Based upon extrapolation of these findings... we haven't observed any God particles left from when he walked in the Garden of Eden, his interaction with humans has never been recorded. He probably doesn't exist. We don't have any proof. Faith is not a science.
Science is more theoretical and flimsy than we like to let on. I'm willing to work within the boundaries of a hypothesis, as operating like that is a sensible way to gather and make sense of data. And the theory I use is the best we have at the moment. But I've read about radical theory change, and that what we 'know' now may one day be history, giggled at in classrooms, like Rutherford's plum pudding model. So I don't feel that science is sound enough to base my life upon. Something written in a textbook does not make it an immovable fact, for me. If the equation for divine existence was written into the front of my Physics textbook, including the Christ constant 3.77x10E5000, would you believe in it?
If one bases a religious life on arguments, formulae and most-likely-statements, one risks having it all swept away by radical theory change. Theories of evolution develop constantly and creationist creeds seem increasingly endangered. I feel so sad for people for whom this will cause a crisis of faith. But if their faith included the humbling realisation that they knew an incomplete amount about God and his operation, would it be such a stumbling block?
Finally, I would have used exactly the same phrase to get people thinking about Christianity.
'God probably does not exist. Stop worrying and enjoy your life.' I hate being told to stop worrying, it makes me think people are hiding something.
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